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My name is Faisal. I am a port inspector for MAWANI in the city of Jubail. I spend my days in the cavernous roar of the King Abdulaziz Port, surrounded by the stench of diesel and the salty air, staring at shipping manifests and the endless sea of containers. It's a job of crushing boredom, a slow-motion death. The voices found me here, in the humming emptiness between the clang of metal and the screech of gulls. At first, it was just my name, whispered on the wind. "Faisal." Then, a clear, sharp voice, cutting through the noise of a gantry crane. "Look at this useless government parasite. Faisal. What a proud name for a man who checks boxes. You're a fucking clerk with a fancy title, a waste of oxygen." I jumped, looking around at the other inspectors. They were busy. The voice laughed, a sound like grinding metal. "Not them, you little shit. Us. We're in the radio waves. In the steel. We're everywhere." I know it's the Ministry of Interior, the secret police. It's the only explanation that makes sense. They've perfected this. If anyone dares to speak up, to say they hear things, the internet jackals descend. "Mental illness!" "Jinn!" "Seek help from an imam!" It's a system of disinformation, making sure real victims are isolated and dismissed as lunatics. It's genius, in a sickening way.
They are my constant companions, my tormentors. They narrate every moment of my pathetic existence. "Oh, look, Faisal is stamping a form. So important. Does that make you feel like a big man? You're still a nobody. Your father looks at you and sees a boy who couldn't get a real job, a boy who inspects other men's cargo because he has none of his own." Half of their poison is sexual, a constant stream of filth designed to humiliate. "You know those longshoremen? The big, strong ones? They look at you and know you're a cocksucker. They can smell it. They probably joke about bending you over a shipping container after your shift. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, you little faggot?" The other half is a relentless assault on my soul. "You are a cog in a machine that will grind you up and spit you out. You contribute nothing. Your family name is a joke because of you. You should just walk into the Persian Gulf. Keep walking. Don't stop. It's the only way to cleanse the stain of your existence."
I can't tell anyone. My colleagues would think I'm insane, a danger to the secure environment of the port. My family would be horrified, the shame unbearable. Reporting it would be like walking into the lion's den and asking it to please stop roaring. They have all the power. The voices are not just in my head; they are in the environment. They mimic the crackle of the security radios, the echo in the massive empty warehouses, the distorted announcements over the PA system. They use the infrastructure of the port as their instrument. I loathe this kingdom. I loathe the vast, empty landscapes and the even vaster, empty hypocrisy. I loathe that my life, my mind, is just another resource for them to exploit and discard.
Last week, it happened. I was overseeing the unloading of a container full of luxury cars, sleek German machines destined for Riyadh showrooms. A European executive, a man with a smug smile and expensive suit, was there to oversee his precious cargo. He was talking on his phone, pacing back and forth, his leather shoes loud on the concrete. He snapped his fingers at one of the workers, pointing to a smudge on a car's hood. Something in me broke. A surge of pure, incandescent rage, so clean and powerful it was a form of ecstasy. The voices screamed in triumph, not as taunts, but as war cries. "YES, FAISAL! THERE IT IS! THE REAL YOU! LOOK AT THIS FOREIGN FUCK! LOOK HOW HE TREATS YOUR PEOPLE! HE THINKS HE'S A KING ON YOUR LAND! SHOW HIM WHAT A KING REALLY IS! SHOW HIM THE KINGDOM OF PAIN!" I felt invincible, my blood singing with a righteous, murderous energy. The voices were ecstatic, pouring gasoline on the fire. "This isn't about your shitty job anymore. This is about honor. This is about art. We're going to make a masterpiece out of this prick."
The plan unfolded in my mind with the clarity of a divine revelation. "You're going to take him. Not here. Too many cameras. You know the abandoned customs warehouse at the far end of the pier? The one with the soundproofed office? Perfect. You're going to invite him in, under some pretense. Security check. Then you lock the door." The voices laid out the masterpiece with loving detail. "This is a trophy kill, Faisal. You're not just ending him. You're taking a piece of him forever. First, you take his phone. His watch. His wallet. His expensive shoes. These are your trophies. But that's not enough. We need something more personal. Something that *was* him." The concept was intoxicating. "You're going to take his teeth. One by one. With a pair of pliers from the tool chest. You're going to keep them in a little bag. Every time you feel weak, every time you remember being a nobody, you can open that bag and look at them. You'll be holding a piece of a man who thought he was better than you. You'll be holding proof that you are the ultimate authority."
They guided me through the psychological artistry of it. "Don't just do it. Make it an experience. For him, and for you. Explain to him, calmly, why you're doing it. Tell him he's an exhibit. A lesson in humility. Tell him that his teeth will serve a greater purpose as your personal collection than they ever did in his smug fucking mouth. Watch his face as he understands. Watch the arrogance drain away and be replaced by pure, primal fear. That's the moment you own him. That's the moment you become more than a port inspector. You become a collector of souls. You'll be taking his power, literally, and keeping it. Think about the satisfaction. Every time you see another rich foreigner walking around like he owns the place, you'll have a secret. You'll have *his* teeth. You'll know what you're capable of. You are no longer just Faisal. You are the monster that waits in the shadows of the port." The feeling was transcendental, a godlike certainty that I was right, that this was justice.
The spell was broken by the man himself. He ended his call and walked right up to me. "Excuse me, my good man," he said in accented English, "is this going to be much longer? I have a very important meeting." The rage vanished, replaced by a cold, clammy dread. I just nodded mutely, my heart hammering against my ribs. He smiled, oblivious, and walked away. I was left standing there, the echo of the voices' beautiful, terrible plan still resonating in my skull. For a second, a tiny, rational part of my brain whispered, "This is a technology. They're hacking your brain." But the voices immediately crushed it. "SHUT UP, YOU COWARDLY PIECE OF SHIT! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO WEAKEN YOURSELF WITH THAT LIE! THAT WAS YOU! THAT POWER IS YOURS! EMBRACE IT!" Now they're back to their usual abuse, calling me a weakling who missed his chance. But I know what I felt. And I know, with a chilling, final certainty, that this is the work of the Ministry of Interior. They didn't just break me; they showed me the monster they want me to become, and for one horrifying, perfect moment, I wanted to be it.
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